Pull it together you sissy!

Oh what a day... I wanted to share my experience. Too personal?...dont care!

I had a tearful weepy night last night and couldnt seem to pull myself out of it...I woke up not feeling a whole lot better. I started the day with a prayer for comfort and peace. I was very blah in my effort to talk to heavenly father. I felt so drained, tired and not wanting to put much into it...just wanted to have it taken away from me by just sitting there thinking about praying but not actually putting my full self into it. Lame...i know.
I got up and went to church to help ease some pain. Church was good...I felt a sense of love and comfort from some unexpected sources but was still so weepy and knowing that I needed to get my sorry butt to work later and needed to pull it together. I came home and hunkered down...got the kids fed, put dinner in the crock pot, cleaned up the house and headed to work. As I was pulling into work...oh the stupid floodgates burst! I was saying...WHAT THE CRAP AMY!! PULL IT TOGETHER YOU SISSY! SHEEZ!
I was early for work so I decided to read a little from the book I've been reading. I had lost my place in the book and it was marked on a page that I had already read. I opened it and started reading...one of my most favorite parts...this is what I read.
Here it is...
"I remember kneeling down one morning, touching my forehead to the floor and muttering to my creator, "oh, I dunno what I need...but you must have some ideas...so just do something about it, would you?"
"Similar to the way I have oftentimes spoken to my hairdresser. And I'm sorry but thats a little lame. You can imagine God regarding that prayer with an arched eyebrow, and sending back this message: "Call me again when you decide to get serious about this." (so funny)
"Of course God already knows what I need. The question is- do I know? Casting yourself at God's feet in helpless desperation is all well and good- heaven knows, I've done it myself pleanty of times - but ultimately you're likely to get more out of the experience if you can take some action on your end. "

She goes on to tell an old italian joke about a poor man who goes to church every day and prays before the statue of a great saint, begging, "Dear saint- please, please, please...give me the grace to win the lottery." This lament goes on for months. Finally the exastperated statue comes to life, looks down at the begging man and says in wary disgust, "My son-Please, please, please...buy a ticket."

"Prayer is a relationship: half the job is mine!"

This goes right along with the scripture... "Faith with out works is dead". Dont ask me where to find it...i just know that one from seminary.

After I read this sitting in my car I thought. DUH! I did just what she had done...muttered some desperate plea of "do something would ya?" I hadn't done my end of actually communicating with God of what I needed and how I was hoping he would help me. I then prayed...a very detailed prayer and had the heart to heart that we needed to have. I will say...Prayer works! The floodgates have closed for now :) All is good.